I’ve been feeling kind of down about myself the last couple of months, because I’ve been fluctuating up and down with the same five pounds I’ve been trying to lose for a while. At one point, I said to myself, “Self,” I said, “I’ve lost 30 lbs. since last summer. I am not a failure. I just need some motivation to get moving again!”

I have. Last July, I weighed 310 lbs. I currently weigh 284. (I weighed 280 on Monday, so I’m sticking to my 30 lbs. story.) I *should* be proud of myself. However, I keep seeing the number 160 in my head, and I’m not satisfied. I haven’t been able to get down past 280. That’s my current immediate goal. I need to see that magic number 7 on the scale. I think once I get to see that, my motivation to work harder will return.

So I figured I would start a blog. I will be entirely honest on this blog, admitting when I binge or cheat, admitting when I’m too lazy to get off the couch to move, and admitting when my spirits are at their lowest. Sometimes, I just feel like a fat, ugly cow. Last night, I felt that way. This morning, when I noticed that my arms have actually gotten fatter in the LAST FEW DAYS, I felt that way. Right now, I just feel angry and motivated. It’s time to get serious.

This blog isn’t just about my never-ending quest to lose weight. It’s also going to be about my hobbies (I knit, I read a lot, I watch a lot of movies, I’m learning to crochet, I bake, I make jams/candles/soap, I cook – a lot, and I’m a mediocre amateur photographer LOL.), my kids (I have two – Zachary, who’s 12 1/2 and Skye, who will be 10 in a week or so), and life in general.

I don’t expect anyone to ever read this blog really, but it will serve as a tool for me to keep myself on track, to get my shit together, and to chronicle what I’m up to so if I wonder in a few months, I’ll be able to go back and look! (because, really, who else is going to be interested?)

I’ll post a current pic and weigh-in this evening when I get home (ugh), as well as measurements. Rob will be doing proper measurements when I visit next week, but in the meantime, I’m doing them as best I can.