(or, “How To Pull Out Of A Tailspin *After* Your Plane Has Crashed Into The Mountain”)

So hey. It’s been a while. How’ve you been? Good, good… So much for blogging regularly. I have to confess a few things, and I’ve been putting it off. I missed my last two yoga classes – the first due to a massive migraine that was not responding to any drugs or begging. I missed the second last week because I was spending US Thanksgiving stateside with the fella and his bunch. Pretty sweet deal, right?

Yeah…. so true to form, I went on a massive sabotage the week before leaving. I blamed it on stress. I blamed it on wonky hormones (which should level out now, hopefully). I blamed it on lack of time. I blamed it on everything except myself. I prepared NOTHING for the drive down, so I ate fast food. Didn’t eat all that great while I was down there, but I wasn’t overly bad… I prepared nothing for the drive back so I ended up eating donuts and Taco Bell (the kids get upset if I don’t bring home any donuts from CJ’s). Excuse after excuse after excuse, and the gist of it is, I just stopped trying.

I don’t know why I stopped trying, but I do it every time. I make a lot of great progress, and then I undo it all in one fell swoop. This time, I undid it to the tune of finding myself at 280 again. How happy was I when I looked at the scale? Not too happy at all. I’ve also been meaning to try doing some yoga at home until classes start again mid-January (twice a week this time! WOO!). Have I done any? Of course not. My treadmill is currently buried under a pile of recycling and storage bins. I have done NOTHING.

Add to that the fact that my hormones really ARE wonky (I just had my IUD removed, the type that releases levonorgestrel into your system… so remove that and hello emotional nosedive!) and that I’ve had AF visiting for 45 out of the last 60 days (yay), and I’ve really been in a bad spot emotionally (and nutritionally).

It’s time to pick myself up, dust myself off, and start over. I know I only went up 8 lbs from my lowest official weigh-in, but I feel like I’m right back up at 310. I gained back one fifth of what I had lost, and I’m not happy about it. I want that 8 lbs gone, and I want it to take its friends with it. My stomach has been upset almost constantly, my head has been hurting – again, almost constantly – and my joints feel like crap (they were liking the new lower weight). I did groceries with this in mind, and so now I have to get organized.

I can’t kick ass and take names if I’m sitting around moping and feeling sorry for myself, can I?

Advertisements