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So you all know about the ongoing struggles with the landlord and appropriate appliance replacement. I texted him last weekend asking him what the deal was with the washing machine (since I had informed him it was broken back in OCTOBER). Yeah, I managed to jury-rig it to work for a little while, but then the belt snapped – that’s right, it was a belt-drive machine, the last of which were built around 1983. This was an OLD washing machine.

He apologized profusely, and said he’d forgotten all about it – in his defense, his wife had a baby and that kind of distracted him for a bit 😉 He swore he’d order me a machine and I left it at that. Monday evening, Bob, of Bob’s used appliances, showed up at my house with a new machine! The idea was, he was supposed to bring in the new machine, unhook the old one, hook up the new one and take the old one away. This is what the landlord paid for. This is NOT what happened, however. Bob took one look at the old machine, said, “This thing is a piece of junk! I don’t want it!” and left the new machine in my front hall as he took off. Um. Bob? Why do you think we’re replacing it? BECAUSE IT’S AN OLD PIECE OF JUNK! Ugh.

So a few minutes later, this buddy of Bob’s calls me up and says he picks up old machines for scrap. Okay, fine. I ask him if he’s also going to hook up the new machine, since Bob kind of said he would. Guy is not happy. He doesn’t do installation. He picks up scrap metal. *sigh* I text the landlord about the situation, and he says it will be remedied the next day.

Next day, I come home, and some yahoo is waiting for me to let him in to install my old machine. Okay… so the 14 year old and I remove the bathroom door (this dipstick hadn’t even brought his own TOOLS – real professional, the installers at Bob’s) and he kind of looks at the old machine, trying to figure out where the taps were for the water (they were in the cabinet RIGHT NEXT TO THE MACHINE). He deals with one tap… I said, “Aren’t you going to turn the other one off?” just as dipstick removes both hoses from the back of the machine and water starts gushing everywhere. *sigh* “Oops” he says, “I guess there’s another one.” 

At this point, I start deep breathing, because I figure I’m gonna need it. I was right. 

He removes the old machine and starts maneuvering it out of the bathroom. I asked him to wait so I could help him through the kitchen doorway with it, but once again, he ignored me completely, shoved it too close to one side and ripped the drainage hose right off the back of the machine. This causes moldy old black water to spew all over my kitchen floor, all over my livingroom CARPET. I yell for him to stop moving as he see-saws the machine across the livingroom floor…. *sigh* Now I have a trail of black moldy water across my entire livingroom. GREAT. And there’s probably water leaking downstairs. I text the landlord to let him know about chuckles and his lack of competency with a few choice words. The only part of the conversation I remember verbatim is “This guy’s a total idiot” Landlord’s answer? “He is, yeah.” DUDE. You KNOW this guy’s a moron, and yet you still send him to my house to hook up equipment that could cause structural damage if installed incorrectly??? 

Anyway… dipstick starts installing the new machine. Junk man shows up, and within 2 minutes, has my old machine secured to his dolly (this thing was AMAZING) and is on his way out. Dipstick comes out of the bathroom saying, “It’s all done! No leaks :)” errr… did you hook the water back up? “Oh yeah, no problem”. So I send the 14 year old to fill a bucket so can mop up the dirty black water all over the kitchen & bathroom. He tries. No water. I give dipstick an arch look. “Well,” he says, “it’s not hard to turn it back on.” Okay, but my question is why did you tell me you DID turn it back on when you clearly DIDN’T???? He goes in and turns the water back on. The boy gets a bucket full of water and Mr. Clean and starts mopping (my kids are seriously awesome sometimes).

So dipstick is just standing there. Are you finished? “Bob said you’d give me $20.” Um… what??? “For the installation. Bob said he talked to you and that you’d have $20 for me.” Um, no. I don’t think so. I’m pretty sure my landlord paid for delivery when he bought the machine. I text landlord, he confirms. Dipstick says he’s not leaving without his $20, and we can’t expect to get professional services for free. To which I point out that a) my landlord had already paid, and b) what kind of “professional” doesn’t even have his own tools??? At this point, buddy, you have caused far more than $20 of damage to my apartment, and you are trespassing. GET OUT. He left muttering about Bob saying the lady would have $20 for him (something Bob never mentioned to me the THREE times I talked to him that evening, by the way). 

I tossed a cup of bleach into the washing machine and set it going for a full run. At least he did that part right, it didn’t leak. 

Oh, and I did grab my wrench back from him as he was leaving. Jerk tried to take it home with him. I guess Bob cheaps out on tools, too.